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Friday, March 7, 2014

Therapy


By John Coston

So much to talk about...So little time. I was on the verge of ending my blog because I felt like I didn't really need it anymore. Over the past few months, I thought I was living well, hanging out with friends, messing with a few ladies, copping gear, basically living the fake-out good life. But recently, I had a moment when I did an overall evaluation of myself. I took a deep look in the mirror and I didn't like what I saw. Now on the outside, not much had changed. I was still shockingly handsome and that million dollar smile still shined like a diamond (I cant keep a straight face typing that foolishness!). But I didn't feel right. There were bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. I had a headache from all of the nonsense I had been eating and just felt heavier than I had in a while (luckily I haven't gained any weight back.)

After my torture session in the mirror, I performed an evaluation of my finances and grades. I've saved up some money but not as much as I set out to. Plus my grades weren't where they were supposed to be. Now I am not even close to hitting rock bottom. But lately, I haven't been as productive as I usually am. I could make up plenty of excuses, such as working full time and going to school full time, lack of sleep, dog eating my homework, depression over Peyton Manning getting intercepted over and over again, DiCaprio not winning an Osc....you catch my drift.

In actuality, I thought I had earned the right to party and drink and fornicate a little because of all of the work that I had been putting in. I thought I could take a little time off from the serious life and live a little. One of my boys told me it's okay to be ignorant sometimes and I took heed. But then I also thought about something that one of my homegirls told me. She said that God puts people and situations into your life. While I'm not the most deeply religious person, I do believe that certain people and situations enter your life to help you grow as a person. I feel like the people that I have most recently met and hung with have been placed in my life to show me that I can't get the past back. The women, liquor, and overall foolery is a thing of the past.

While hanging out until all hours of the night was cool as a young buck, I have to remember that I am a grown ass man (*Beats Chest) and I don't have the time nor the energy to be galavanting across town doing nothing positive. I would rather sleep and get ready for a workout than hang out and eat sh%t. I've missed out on a lot of study time and goal-setting trying to be the man on these streets. I think I'm going back to just being a hermit during the week, concentrating on my studies and, if everything is accomplished, maybe hit the town for a hot second. Either way, I feel like I needed to take a few steps backward to get on track.

So, to everyone's joy and amazement, the blog lives on. Yay!!! I definitely WILL be posting more blogs because I have a few more stories to tell that I know you folks will find interesting, silly, and just straight up ridiculous. To be honest, this blog is like therapy for me. It allows me to get the craziness stuck in my head out of it and pass it on to you. Ha!!! Blog done!!

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