Damaged Goodz!!!

By John Coston

Owwww!!!!! 79 degrees on a fine Georgia day!!!! I worked out AND got my car washed. Plus I studied without falling into a coma!! So there is only one thing left to do: Provide you, the reader, with something to read before you go out tonight (Because we all know reading before clubbing increases the likelihood of meeting your future baby mama/daddy!! Info from the Internet so it must be true!!)

On a serious note, I had a conversation with a friend of mine and we talked about the difficulties of being in a relationship. He said "Sunn....you know we're damaged goods, right?" I said "N.....Go on." He said "We come from a generation of dudes who have dated either women who have been in relationships while we messed with them or engaged or married." I said "Ummm....you may have a point." He then said, "Sh$t like that has ruined my perspective on being with someone long term."

 Unfortunately, I can't disagree with a single thing he said. He then asked me, "Is this going into the blog?" I said "Shut up," and ran away. But seriously, I commend all men and women who have found true happiness with the person they're with. I have trouble seeing myself with someone long term, not because I don't believe in love, but because I have major trust issues. I always feel like karma is going to come and bite me in the ass and take some meat out (Awesome visual if you've seen my buttcheeks! Pause). I'm getting a dose of that right now but that's for a later blog.

When I was 19, I messed with a married 33 year old with children. It was a brief fling but one that made me hate marriage for a time due to what I felt was a blatant disregard for the wedding vows. She told me that her husband never made time for her and that she felt like the only way to get back at him was to sleep around. At 19, I felt like I was the man....for a second. Then those damn morals kicked in and I cut it off (At this time I messed with a married woman, a stripper, a few randoms, a partridge and a pear tree. Sheesh).

In fact, there was a time when all I was dealing with were females in relationships. The best was when a woman got into a fight with her fiancee, came by my home and danced for me and a few of my friends. While all of these occasions were awesome, it kind of ruined the way I felt about relationships and how I acted when in them. I was always paranoid that a woman would get back at me like that. So, instead of taking care of business to prevent this from happening, I would always try to one up the situation and cheat first. Eventually, in a relationship, it did happen, but I totally deserved it due to the ridiculousness things I did. So here I am today, finally (literally starting a few weeks ago) getting over the past and ready to start anew. I still have friends who are anti-everything having to do with relationships. I take their commentary, remember who I am dealing with, and keep it moving. I feel like just taking this summer to continue to work on myself, setting and accomplishing goals, and letting the chips fall where they may. I no longer feel like I am damaged. I just look at it like I have a perspective that not many people have. With age and experience come wisdom. And with that, I'm gone.......

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Thanks, Paul Ryan!!!!

By John Coston

Now anyone who knows me well understands my disdain for discussing politics. I try to keep my conversations simple. I talk life, a few deep thoughts, and a sizable amount of pick up lines and silliness. When the subject of politics comes up, I try to stay away from the fray because 1.) Sometimes I'm not educated enough on a topic and I would rather research it before saying something ridiculous; 2.) I know I'm going to hear some fool who's not educated enough on a topic and who didn't research it say something ridiculous, and 3.) Politics, along with religion, is a tool of division used by the masses (government, media, etc;) to keep the people ignorant from the real issues that go on. So I choose to keep it moving.

But recently some comments were made which made me feel kind of offended and upset. Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan said, in an interview with Bill Bennett that there was a "tailspin of culture, in our inner cities in particular, of men not working and just generations of men not even thinking about working or learning to value the culture of work." Now anyone slightly intellectual can read between the lines and see he was describing mainly black men, basically saying that we were lazy. Ryan since has said that he was "inarticulate about the point I was trying to make." But he never really apologized for the comments nor did he offer any solutions to the "cultural" issues presented.

Let me be brief on this. I would like to sum up my opinion of his comments with one word: Thanks!!! I would like to thank Paul Ryan for showing why Republicans lack any support from blacks and other minorities. I can understand if he was looking to spark a conversation about culture and changes that are necessary. But once you use terms like "inner city", you automatically put a black face on it and you eliminate any productive discussions that may have been able to be conducted. Good going, champ!

I would also like to thank Rep. Ryan for offending every hard working black man (hell, all minorities) I've ever known. Now Rep. Ryan can make amends for this by repeating this statement to the faces of every employed minority making a living the best way they can. He can start with my father who helped raise a family when my mother passed, worked hard every day and, at 69, recently received an insurance license, still setting goals and working to reach them. Or how about my homeboy Tony, who is a recent college graduate working 40+ hours a day and looking to move further in life. Hell, say it to my face. Wait, I wont have time to talk to you because I work full time and go to school full time so I don't have time to waste on clowns like you!!!! This is why people need to think before they say something ridiculous!!

 Sheesh!!! Most of all, though, I would like to thank Rep. Ryan for bringing my mind back to a concept I'll be exploring in the near future, which is community reinvestment. It is basically putting money into a run down neighborhood with the goal of not only bringing jobs and opportunity to the people of the neighborhood, but also doubling and tripling the money you put into it!!! Quick explanation of what I mean. Lets say you are a successful ballplayer looking to invest some money. Instead of investing in descending assets such as cars and clothes and jewelry, how about investing in a piece of land in a hood. What you do is (and if you don't have enough doe, go in with some business partners) build a strip mall on that property. You move different businesses in such as grocery stores, hair salons, Laundromats, etc. Then you take people from the neighborhood and employ them. Now these people have money in their pocket plus places within the strip mall to spend them at. Now you, as the investor, act as landlord because all of these businesses will be paying you rent. If the business is sustainable, you now have residual income coming in that you can really retire on. Plus, the fact that you've allowed poor people to receive jobs and create an economy for themselves is the icing on the cake.

People reading this may think I'm crazy. But give me a few years and I will show you what I am talking about!!!!!! This is my longest article ever!! It will probably be the last time I talk politics for a while too!!! Next week, the foolishness returns!!

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Club Bloggin'

By John Coston

Sometimes, I do things I just can't explain. I'm typing this blog from the inside of some club. I just saw Wolf of Wall Street and, instead of just going home, hopping in the bed and calling it a night, I went to this little spot to do a two step and clear my head a little bit. In the middle of my two step, I thought to myself "Excuse me random cougar who prefers dancing to the words instead of the beat, hop off me for a hot second while I type this blog real quick.

" Between "American Hustle" and "Wolf of Wall Street" (two of the absolute best movies I've seen in quite a long time.... AND DON'T ASK ME ABOUT 12 YEARS A SLAVE! THANK YOU), I've had an opportunity to do a little soul searching. Society tells me that my goal should be to graduate college, have a wife and kids, get a nice house and live happily ever after. Am I weird if that's not all that I want in life? Am I crazy if I say I wanna be filthy rich with the kind of revenue streams that sets my grand kids up to be comfortable? Am I weird if I say I want a lot of women and to be able to smoke, drink, and workout as I please? That last part, not so much anymore (except for the workout...and women...yep, the women....Ooh yeah the wom.. Alright I'm good).

I've been there, done that, and nothing good came out of it. But what I am trying to say is that I have never been the type that wanted what everyone tells me I should strive for. I don't want to "go somewhere and sit down" as my father has asked me to do so many times in my life. I would like the world and everything in it. I want to be an accountant/rapper/writer/public speaker/real estate agent/investor/insert new hobby here. This is just a glimpse into the way my mind works. I have always walked a fine line between being ordinary and wanting to be extraordinary.

At times, it has messed up my focus and, other times, it has increased it. I think that right now (as this young lady in the green miniskirt smiles at me with the inside of her mouth looking just like piano keys...I hope it's just the lighting in here...Sheesh), I'll just get this degree and, while the goals are still in place, see what happens. Maybe it's the club, the movie, or a combination of both that made me write this tonight. I'm about to go home because the music is trash and I feel like I could be doing something more constructive like studying, plotting my takeover, or sleeping and dreaming about being the meat in a Nia Long-Sanaa Lathan sandwich. Ok I'm out.

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Failure Equals Freedom

By John Coston

Whattttt?!?! Two blogs in 3 days? Yes. For the viewing public, you're welcome. I have had a lot to say lately but I haven't been able to make the time to say it. I am making the time now so enjoy while it lasts because you may not hear from me for the next 21 years.

 I can sum this blog up in two words: I've failed. Blog is done, tune in next.... just kidding. On occasion, it is good to say that I have failed at something. It doesn't mean that I am a failure. There is a difference between saying "I'm a failure," and "I've failed." When you say "I'm a failure," you are implying that you have given up hope and that you can't handle the pressure given to you. You are basically saying that you are a loser. If you feel like you're a loser, your words and actions will follow suit and you'll miss all the joy and wonders life brings.

Now one may say, "Oh soft and tender one, isn't saying you're a failure the same as saying that you've failed?" My response? First, don't call me soft and tender!!! 1000% Mandingo Warrior ova here, sunn!! (Not quite). Second, When I say that I have failed at something, it is usually followed up with an evaluation of what I did wrong and a plan focused on how I will correct the error and excel. Failing just means you took the wrong approach. Now you have the freedom and flexibility to try something new and different. It's not the time to hang your head and let the black cloud rain on you during a sunny day. It's the time to really get your mind, body, and soul moving. Step out of the comfort zone and get busy!!

The closest I ever came to thinking I was a failure was when I caught the DUI and sat in my cell, feeling sick from my buzz wearing off and dirty from wearing the state-issued blue suit I'm sure many wore before me. As the cell door closed behind me, I laid on the top bunk, wide awake, fuming at the predicament I had put myself in. I had about 2 minutes where I felt like the biggest loser on the planet. I had no one else to blame but myself. For that time, I looked at myself as a failure. But then I thought to myself "This is just a test. I made a mistake. I'm willing to make amends in anyway I can and I will do all it takes to turn this negative into a positive." That's exactly what happened.

Have I been perfect? No. But have I allowed that failure mentality to take hold of me? Not at all. I've treated it as a stepping stone to learn and gain strength from and now I'm getting closer to where I want to be. That night, I failed. That same night though, I feel like I was set free. Need some additional motivation?

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Therapy

By John Coston

So much to talk about...So little time. I was on the verge of ending my blog because I felt like I didn't really need it anymore. Over the past few months, I thought I was living well, hanging out with friends, messing with a few ladies, copping gear, basically living the fake-out good life. But recently, I had a moment when I did an overall evaluation of myself. I took a deep look in the mirror and I didn't like what I saw. Now on the outside, not much had changed. I was still shockingly handsome and that million dollar smile still shined like a diamond (I cant keep a straight face typing that foolishness!). But I didn't feel right. There were bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. I had a headache from all of the nonsense I had been eating and just felt heavier than I had in a while (luckily I haven't gained any weight back.)

After my torture session in the mirror, I performed an evaluation of my finances and grades. I've saved up some money but not as much as I set out to. Plus my grades weren't where they were supposed to be. Now I am not even close to hitting rock bottom. But lately, I haven't been as productive as I usually am. I could make up plenty of excuses, such as working full time and going to school full time, lack of sleep, dog eating my homework, depression over Peyton Manning getting intercepted over and over again, DiCaprio not winning an Osc....you catch my drift.

In actuality, I thought I had earned the right to party and drink and fornicate a little because of all of the work that I had been putting in. I thought I could take a little time off from the serious life and live a little. One of my boys told me it's okay to be ignorant sometimes and I took heed. But then I also thought about something that one of my homegirls told me. She said that God puts people and situations into your life. While I'm not the most deeply religious person, I do believe that certain people and situations enter your life to help you grow as a person. I feel like the people that I have most recently met and hung with have been placed in my life to show me that I can't get the past back. The women, liquor, and overall foolery is a thing of the past.

While hanging out until all hours of the night was cool as a young buck, I have to remember that I am a grown ass man (*Beats Chest) and I don't have the time nor the energy to be galavanting across town doing nothing positive. I would rather sleep and get ready for a workout than hang out and eat sh%t. I've missed out on a lot of study time and goal-setting trying to be the man on these streets. I think I'm going back to just being a hermit during the week, concentrating on my studies and, if everything is accomplished, maybe hit the town for a hot second. Either way, I feel like I needed to take a few steps backward to get on track.

So, to everyone's joy and amazement, the blog lives on. Yay!!! I definitely WILL be posting more blogs because I have a few more stories to tell that I know you folks will find interesting, silly, and just straight up ridiculous. To be honest, this blog is like therapy for me. It allows me to get the craziness stuck in my head out of it and pass it on to you. Ha!!! Blog done!!

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SNOWMAGGEDON 2014: Random Thoughts

By John Coston

I am currently trapped inside my place as #snowmaggedon2014 has done its best to cripple Georgia. Actually, GA's lack of preparation for 2 inches of snow has cripple Georgia but that is neither here nor there.

The snow has given me a chance to express a couple of thoughts that have been bubbling in my head.
1.) The past few months has shown me that I am still not mature enough to have a steady girlfriend. I have this thing in my head that either a) I want to get to know a woman completely to the point of hitting the "Friend Zone" (OHHHH I'll be blogging on that very soon) or b.) I just want her body and that's it. Don't get to know me. Get to know the knob hittin ya where the good lord split ya! Hehe!! Not really. But, for the time being, I will just stay improving my studies and my work. One day, I,ll be ready to settle down and settle in for the right woman. But now is just not the time.

 2.) I'm back to being me. It took a little while (with some ridiculous incidents along the way. It's me so its expected). But I'm back to normal. I'm back working out on the regular (after taking an exxxxxxxtended vacation from eating right and exercising), and I recently got back on my "pretty boy swag." That doesn't even sound right....or manly.....or like anything a grown a$$ man would say. I went shopping so I am good.

3.) I am going to start blogging every week like before because it is therapeutic and helps me get rid of any doubts floating through my head. For some strange reason, it also helps me focus more on my classes. Maybe shedding all of the dead weight my mind holds helps me focus a little more. Maybe blogging puts me in the mind state or reading and writing on a consistent basis. Maybe if Tebow could throw a spiral, he would still be in the NFL. Maybe if Sanchez focused on studying the QB position instead of the butts of young women and grown men, he'd still be the Jets Starting QB. Maybe.....you get the point.

4.) I had a recent flashback to my wild days and had a few drinks and went to a club. I was trying to see if I could get that swagger back. I realize that part of my life is in the past for a reason. I was offered a phone number and a midnight rendezvous.....from a woman over the age of 60. I had to decline out of fear that I would be the one catching a heart attack, not her (and she looked like she would put it on me from the window to the wall)!!! No more drinks and clubbing for the next 20 years. Sheesh!!!

Ok, I am good for right now. I am going back to work after being snowed in for a few days. I'm ready to get this 4.0 GPA and ready to start a whole new round of blogs for you. As usual, if you have any questions or concerns, text, FB or Twitter to get in touch with me. Until next time........

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Loyalty's a Four Letter Word

By John Coston

ITS BEEN A WHIIIILLLLEEEEE!!!! I love that Stained song to this day!! But, seriously, its been a few weeks since I've blogged. Sorry, when you "live that life," things happen, nawmean nahhhmmmsayinnnn?

Anyway, I've noticed a disturbing trend over the past few years that I have to address. This is the lack of loyalty that people have for each other, whether it concerns friendships, marriages, etc. People have forgotten about sticking it out with those that are supposed to be closest to you, no matter how bad things get. I have seen 1.) Friends disrespect their so called friends over money, sex, etc., 2.) Engaged and married couples cheat on their significant others instead of just walking away or working things out; 3.) People who claim to be so dedicated and loyal and passionate toward their stated profession (music, for example, especially all the phony rappers, DJs and producers out there... you know who you are) but, at the first sign of adversity, look for the nearest exit!!

These days, it feels like people don't believe that staying loyal is necessary and just look for an easier way. I can remember having an engaged woman come by my house and do a striptease for me and my boys (among other things...hehe) and, while having a great time, thinking to myself in between boobie-fondlings "Damn! Where's the loyalty to your man?" Is it attention? Is it the internet? Is it the desire to just have a title instead of putting in the actual work? What has happened to our society that being loyal and sticking to your plan has fallen so far by the wayside?

We've become a society of backstabbers and gossip mongers when we should be going in the opposite direction. I'll be the first to admit that I struggled with loyalty for years. In fact, the only thing I was loyal to was the liquor, weed, and the lifestyle that comes with it. It took some adversity to help me get my head on straight and become reacquainted with the word loyalty. Now, I maintain my loyalty to those who have stuck by me. I make sure I stay true to the lifestyle choices that have kept me focus and, if I feel I'm slipping, I get right back at it. Whether it's because you're lazy, lack spiritual guidance, or you're just a snake in the grass. Any signs of disloyalty need to be removed from your circumference (your big word of the blog! Sheesh).

The ones that have stayed with you from the beginning are the ones you need to keep on a pedestal. Get rid of the fairweather friends and fake people who hang around you, not because of who you are, but because of what you can do for them. If you are the disloyal one, take a look in the mirror and see if you like the reflection staring back at you. If you don't (and your backstabbing ways have caught up with you), maybe it's time to change up. Its never too late!!! Got that off my chest!! Until next time foolz!!!!

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You Dumba$$!!!!!

By John Coston

First things first. To all readers who are fans of rap music, I apologize! I do not have a Kendrick Lamar response verse. I know you were expecting one. But there are more than 1,000 other verses to choose from. On a side note, if it takes some ridiculous words to improve the quality of New York rap, I'm all for it.

I know you're looking at the title of this blog and thinking "Who are you talking to, yourself? Haha!!" In a way, yes I am. I've seen a few posts online where people are asking themselves "What would you say to your 18 year old self if you had the chance?" Well, I thought about it and, in an act of shameless thievery, decided to blog about what I would say to that moron.

Here it goes: What's up fool!?! First off, the only growth spurt you'll be hitting is in your gut so start taking care of yourself now. Second, slow down. There's no need to go after the world in one day. No need to live so reckless. Driving on neighborhood front lawns and pulling your $&?& out on the dance floor is not cool. Well the latter can be but that's not the point!!!

You'll learn that people will appreciate your demeanor and respect your input. Also, slow down on the liquor and weed, meathead. Smoking breakfast is supposed to be a joke, not something to take literally. Get to running. Time yourself. You'll love it as much as I do now. You'll find that a sober life is surprisingly better than you thought..... And don't be so angry at the world over things you can't control. Just chill. Your dad is cooler than you thought, and your sisters do know what they're talking about. Your nephew will still recognize you as the greatest rapper alive!! :)

Finally, embrace your intelligence. There is nothing wrong with being smart. In fact, the degree you wind up pursuing is one of the nerdiest and most challenging. I won't spoil the surprise for you. Just chill, youngin. Everything will be alright. Trust me....by the way, that girl in economics who gave you her number is a stripper!! Enjoy it but not too much because you don't want to have happen what will happen with the Russian woman. Sheesh!!!! Good luck!! Until next time!!


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Comfort Zone

By John Costson



Sunday morning laundromat flow. A few weeks ago, I started a routine every Sunday as to where I wake up, do a three mile walk/run and hit the laundromat to relieve my garments of the phenomenal funk that lurks within. It allows me to clear my head, gather my thoughts, and type my blog up. Plus, I get a great laugh counting all of the mullets and tattoos I see. This week, the routine is not different. But this week, I feel the need to vent a little.


I'm planning a trip to Las Vegas for my birthday this December (the 29th so start shopping now please. I could use a new car and good chain... nothing special). The problem that I have is that the people I want to go with all have excuses as to why they can't go. Now, I understand that we all have different responsibilities to attend to, like kids, marriage, family, etc. I have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with are people who are scared to death to leave their comfort zone. It's like they are afraid that, if they take a chance and do something different, something AWESOME might happen and they can't handle that.

I guarantee that if I told folks that I would pay their way for the trip, they would drop whatever they're doing and go. It's a lot like life in that people, to get out of their comfort zone, must be enticed by someone else taking on their responsibility. They wont do it themselves. They'll only do it if they are taken care of. I was once told by someone that he needs other people to do things for him because he doesn't want all the hassle. With that mentality, how can you expect to go places in life?

I'm sorry that this sounds like rambling. But I'm feeling the need to let go of people that aren't contributing to anything in life. I love all my folks to death. But if you are afraid to take a chance, I can't hang with you anymore. A few years ago, people told me not to go to Virginia. But I took a chance and, while things didn't work out there, it set the stage for the success I see today. Stepping out of my comfort zone was the best thing that ever happened. Although there may be pain at first, it will help define the person you become.

Umm.... You can see this goes a little deeper than a Vegas trip. But it all is related. Alright, got that out of my system!!! Next week, I promise I'll have clown material for you all. Until then....... www.twitter.com/thefakejcoston

The Angriest Blog EVER!!!

By John Coston


OK!! As we all know, I try to be Mr. Positivity when it comes to writing these blogs.  I  provide life lessons and knowledge wrapped up in a big ball of silliness and tom foolery!  But I was asked to write a blog regarding the type of things that make me upset.  What ticks me off!! What makes me go from Bruce Banner to the Hulk in 3 seconds flat (besides my sister asking me to take out the garbage for her when I'm 45 minutes away :))!!  Well, I will give you a few ideas as to what pisses me off!! Prepare for the angriest blog EVER!! Not really, it just sounds tough!! Nah it doesn't!!

    The first pet peeve that comes right off the top of my head is complaining.  It ticks me off when I hear people upset about situations that 1.) has nothing to do with me and 2.) can be changed with a little bit of effort.  Now those who know me know that I will take the time out to help a friend in need and offer whatever kind of advice I can.  But don't talk my ear off for 25 minutes about how someone is trying to "hate" on you at your job bagging groceries.  I can fit 12 items in one bag and Sheniqua said "Good job!!" That b*tch is trying to bring me down!! HATIN ON ME!! Sheesh!!  Simple advice for complainers: FIX THE PROBLEM (Caps Lock for Emphasis, son!!) Ive never heard of a problem being complained away!

    Another pet peeve that comes to mind is sheer laziness.  Not the kind that has earned me the nickname from my eldest sister of "SlugWorth!"  I am talking about the effort that it takes to achieve a goal.  I have a few friends that, because of laziness, won't pursue their dreams and change their situation that they are, you guessed it, COMPLAINING ABOUT!!! They won't make the phone calls they have to make, meet the people they need to meet, or put in the work it takes to change the path of their life.  It frustrates the living s#$t out of me when I see a person have numerous opportunities laying at their feet. Instead of taking advantage of it, they take the easy way out and, i believe intentionally, miss out.  I'm sorry.  I may be a slug when I have a day off and nothing to do.  But I refuse to be lazy when there is a chance to be successful!!  A little bit of effort goes a long way in life.  I would rather put in the work and see where the opportunity takes me than to live with regret and wonder what could have been.

    I have other pet peeves, like unshaven underarms on a female, wearing a headband to hide male patterned baldness (Lebron, anyone?), drivers who don't signal when turning (I live in the South!!), snorting while laughing, drunk dialing, drying clothes in the microwave, tight shirts displaying man boobs unnecessarily, toupees, hair in a can, strippers with the body of a 12 year old boy (Shout out to the Notorious N.A.P.!!), racist gymnasts, redneck ant farmers, ...... OK, now I'm just making stuff up!  But I don't really have a ton that ticks me off anymore.  When I get upset about something, I just think of the most ridiculous thing I can and BOOM!! Anger gone!! 18 year old me vs. 34 year old me: 2 different guys!! That's a good thing!!

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