Dating an Ass Hat- Run Away From Them Baby, Run Away!


Ladies and gents, have you ever dated an Ass Hat? The odds are you have or at least met one on your romantic journey. The Urban Dictionary defines an Ass Hat as, "A close cousin of the Ass-clown, typically identified by a jovial expression and an outward misunderstanding of how he/she is perceived, combined with a generally misguided conception of what is sociably acceptable amongst his/her fellow peers." Now that you have been informed...its time to tell my tale.

About two weeks during a video shoot for My best friend Gia, I met a young man that I will refer to as Larry Goldwitz. He was actually invited by me to be in the video as an extra, He belonged to a trio one of whom was a mutual friend. Our mutual friend thought it would be a good idea for us to link on a non-professional manner. To be honest he was not someone I would notice at first, second or third glance, but my close guy friend said it was a good look and I did not think he would steer me wrong.

During the shoot we chatted one another up.I began to realize he had a nice personality and we had a lot in common. We exchanged numbers and I figured well at least we could be friends if anything. Near the end of the shoot we discussed catching a Iron Man 3.

At this point the story picks up and hits full speed, I am going to speed through most of it and get to the pure Ass Hatness of it all. We did end up seeing that movie and had a great time getting to know one another after. We hung out and went on  several dates over the course of two weeks. On two of the occasions, I got to see a shooting star fly across the sky, while I was in his presence. All in all I was content.

I kind of wish life had a soundtrack. Like it played different melodies to let you know when things are about to go south. I believe my melody would have changed the day he introduced me to his mom.

I thought it was nice gesture and it made me feel less uncomfortable being at his house. That day was actually a pretty good one. He took me to breakfast that morning and dinner in the city. I think the Jaws music would have started playing when he asked me a seemingly innocent question.... On our way to Manhattan he asked me if I saw him as my boyfriend in the future. My palms got sweaty and my mouth got dry, but in my head I was thinking I do not want to come off as a player, or acting like a dude (this side of me will be discussed in another post). I told him that I could see it in the future. That was a true answer but my mental time frame was really 3 to 6 months from now. It's also a big enough time frame for me to meet someone I actually like better or find more appealing.  I mean he seemed a really nice and sweet guy and if things stayed easy for a good amount of time maybe.  He quickly responded saying that he felt the same about me.
                                                
Things were moving at a decent pace. I would hang out with him part of the day and my friends and family the other parts.  As a matter of fact he even stated that he had an "Open Door Policy," with me. That he liked how I went out and did my thing, but always came back to him. 
In my head I figured this was not going to last long, because things like this never do. I did want it to end nicely though, where we could be friends and have fond memories of one another. I also did not want any drama because my friend had kind of hooked us up and I did not want it falling on him.

Basically by the Sunday of our second week hanging out, things took a turn for the worst.
We saw Star Trek and went to dinner. During dinner he ask me what we were doing and I said dating. He asked me what that meant. I really wanted to say that we when go out I am not paying for diddly-do. What I actually said was that we were getting to know each other better hanging out and seeing where it leads. After dinner, We went to his place had wine and were listening to music. Out of the clear blue he decides to blurt out, that he does not want a relationship. After he says that he proceeded to try jump my bones.

I was like WTF?! I was not upset that he did not want a relationship, but how does someone say that after all the events I just relayed, and then tries to sleep with me. Was he kidding me? I was to tipsy to drive, so I slept it off and left the next day. That morning I did not say much to him. What was there to say? He called me and apologized and gave me some weak ass explanation for his behavior. The woman in me accepted it and invited him to see another good friend mine perform at the Blue Note in Manhattan. He accepted stating how he wanted to spend time with me and did not like the idea of me being mad at him.

Earlier I stated how I did not want any drama or my homeboy involved in this mess. Well basically When Larry felt I was slipping through his fingers, he got in contact with my friend letting him know what had transpired. My friend called me on the way to the city to see if I was alright. I was freaking mad. I felt like a line had been crossed one that I would never have crossed. Things honestly just died that day.

The day after we went to the city my friend felt Larry and I should talk. Larry told me he would be getting back from work in the city around 10:30 and asked for a ride from the train. I agreed to the task. Every twenty minutes, he text me he was catching the next train. I ended up picking him up from the train station at after 1 am. I was extremely annoyed. He does not live anywhere near me, it was late, and I had to be to work by 9 am. We did end up having a conversation and it left me extremely confused.  In one breathe he told me he was pushing me away because I was a great match for him and he did not want to be with anyone again ( he was engaged to an evil woman in the past and now needed time to heal). In the other breathe he was telling me how he missed me, did not want me mad, and was kissing me.

I told my friend the next morning what happened and he was basically confused as well. over the course of the next three days I tried to link with Larry. He would make plans with me early in the day around lunch time and by the time I got off of work, he would cancel. The worst had to be Saturday.

At 1pm that day we made plans to hang out at his house around 7:30.  At 4pm he tells me he is in Mount Vernon recording at a studio and that he has to go to the city and New Jersey. I asked him three times if he was cancelling and he never responded. I told my homeboy what was going on. Around 9pm I call him to talk and he does not answer but hits me up with a text letting me know he is working. Then he hits me with the "this is how feelings getting involved." At this point I am furious. I have no feelings for this guy. I basically liked one thing about him and if that was being cut-off there was no point in us communicating. I relayed more of what was going on to my friend and he told me he was going to ask him what was going on. I said to him, are you going to call him. He told me no that he was going to stop by. I did  not see how that was possible if the guy was in Manhattan or New Jersey, or Mount Vernon. My friend told me he was at his house. Imagine the shock on my face.
The first time in my life someone had made my jaw drop.  

Larry and I ended up texting each other. He basically told me he had some stuff to explain and not to be mad at him. He told me that my friend came by to see him. I said really where in Jersey, Mt. Vernon, or Manhattan? He said no my house. I acted as if I knew nothing, it seemed the best approach to me. I honestly do not need an explanation for a lie.

I basically felt that this story needed to be told. I know I am not the only one who has gone through something like this. I should have taken note of  the cues this guy was an Ass Hat and run for my life. He gave off clear clues. He was not very truthful, had his head stuck up his ass, he had way too much drama in his life, did not seem to have a center, and did not respect the time of others. He did all this fronting like he was not actually this way.

Ladies and Gents once you realize someone is an Ass Hat, do not walk but Runaway. I wish that Runaway by Kanye West had started playing as my soundtrack . Signing off now and  remember all isn't fair in love and war.