Search Off The Corner

Friday, February 14, 2014

What to Wear on Valentines Day by Fashionista: Athena Thomas

Valentine's Day is just a few days away. If you have special plans with your honey for the night you may be wondering what to wear. Some people go the super sexy route, which isn't bad if that's your thing. But how can you pull off sexy without being too sexy?

In my opinion being too sexy would be wearing something that leaves nothing left for the imagination. Being sexy depends on the person. You can feel sexy in a pair of jeans, heels, and a blouse. Or you can feel sexy in a nice dress and heels.

Since Valentine's Day is associated with red and pink, why not incorporate it into your wardrobe for the day. Add some key accessories to your look such as rings, earrings, and a fab clutch and you have pulled off the perfect outfit.

Monday, September 9, 2013

I Am Against A War In Syria


Bow and show respect to this mighty Native Sister: Angela Molette Halito: Brother Ernie!

I am against a war with Syria, conflicts in Afghanistan, Iraq, opportunistic regime change in Libya and Egypt, standing idly by while Israel kills Palestinians, stealing Haiti in broad daylight, stationing of troops in Africa and allowing Black Water to run covert ops and commit mayhem with impunity and failed oversight, as well.

I am also against allowing mercenaries to protect U.S. Officials instead of U.S. Troops. Most of all, I am against anti-transparent Black Budgets tapped into endless streams of money, while housing, welfare, social security, healthcare and living wages are practically non-existent for our people. I am against war (over there) wherever that may be, as long as the domestic U.S. War against Black People continues to kill more people annually than any chemical weapon, while the same 1 million Blacks remain in prison year after year (out of 2.3 million) and Blacks are 55% of people killed by guns even though Blacks represent only 13% of the population (or so they say), the war is over here.

Until there is a cease fire, apology, recompensation with reconstruction of our infrastructure and honoring of Black Indian Treaty Provisions, I can't see joining the cause of any war.

-Angela Molette (Tuscaloosa Ohoyo) Black Warrior Woman


Friday, September 6, 2013

The Top 9 Real Reasons To go To War In Syria

One: Give the appearance of unifying the country behind the President, who “did his job the right way,” by going to Congress for approval. This elevates Obama’s ratings and, by inference, suggests that his other programs should be accorded more merit. A wartime president always gains more support.

Two: Give the people an adrenaline rush. The effect should never be underestimated. Cleanses the pores, cleans the slate, and relieves frustration by proxy, temporarily…if you have very little access to your cerebral functions.

Three: In this case, winning Congressional approval reinstates the illusion, for a few moments, that we are a Constitutional Republic, with a government dedicated to justice.

Four: Help fulfill the long-planned US-Israeli agenda of destabilizing Syria and causing it to partition into warring and chaotic ethnic factions.

Five: Stop the construction of a natural gas pipeline across Syria, which would boost Iran’s economy by sending Iranian gas to Europe. Iran’s economy must be torpedoed.

Six: Send a message throughout the Middle East that the US is all-powerful and the dollar must remain the reserve currency in all oil transactions.

Seven: Feed the US military-industrial complex, which demands wars.

Eight: Aid the long-term goal of Globalism/Free Trade, which involves putting the entire Middle East into unresolvable debt and suffering…and then coming in with outside elite bankster financing, to rebuild the entire region and own it, lock, stock, and barrel.

Nine: Distract Americans from a number of scandals, including: Benghazi, Fast&Furious, IRS non-profit division crimes, NSA spying, the continuing failed war in Afghanistan, and a tanking domestic economy with more and more people living below the poverty line.

None of these reasons has anything to do with “punishing Assad for using chemical weapons.” In any case, that whole scenario has been thrown into extreme doubt.

Your government at work.

Friday, July 19, 2013

My Reaction to The Zimmerman Trial (featuring Music by Melly Mel)

It has been a while since I wrote anything. I have been busy trying to get my life in order. I applied for a masters in science at CW Post. I got into the program to become a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. My focus will be relationship counseling. I have also been actively pursuing a better job, one that will look great on a resume and put money in my pocket that feels great. So that is a little update on my life. Now to get to the writing. This article may completely change how you view me. I realize that and accept it. So here goes...

The last week America has been in an uproar, especially the African-American community. The case of the State of Florida v. George Zimmerman has caused a lot of stress and division. As I look on my Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter I realize that many of the people I care for have vastly different views on this case.  Some people feel it was a case on race and others feel it was self-defense. I have even read that the case should not have been tried because George Zimmerman followed the law to the letter. Everyone has an opinion and it seems everyone has become a lawyer.

To be honest I did not follow the case as closely as many people. I could not. I did not have the heart to do so. My heart was twisted in so many directions regarding this case. I am the mother of an African-American and Hispanic son. My child is only two but, I always fear for his future. As a black mother you do not just have to worry about your child getting good grades, going off to college and living the American dream. You have to worry about so much more.  I wonder how he will fare being raised in a single parent home. Most times children raised in single parent homes face more struggles in lives. I worry if he will engage in nefarious activities and end up in prison. I worry if he will have a child before marriage. I do not believe many mothers from the paler ethnic groups have these same fears while raising their son.
marriage or contract an STD. I worry if he will be bullied. I worry what his sexual orientation will be. I gave him a name that was gender and ethnically ambiguous so that it will make it easier for him to get a job.  The Zimmerman case now has me worried if he is walking down the street on a cold night in a decent neighborhood witha hoodie on, will someone mistake him for a criminal, attack, and shoot him?

Another issue that weighed on my mind is the racial climate of the south. As many of my readers know I went to law school last year in Louisiana. I found out in under a year, that it was not the place for me. The racial tension in the south is thick. I honestly find that both African-American and Caucasian-Americans hold prejudicial stereotypes against one another. I am a woman of mixed race which I found out is only something northerners care about. In the south if your skin is dark your black, that's it. You better know your place and stay in it. So when I read people's statements that this is not a race issue, I recall my own experiences, and I know that is entirely untrue. I also find it laughable that while Zimmerman clearly looks Hispanic, he identifies with being Caucasian. I also see that the whole brown bag test holds true down there. I have had to be in Sanford, Florida many times in my life. I am just glad to only have been passing through that very dark place. I also recall the comments of "Juror B37" She already had her mind made up about how she felt about the young black male walking through a white neighborhood. Her comments came off as Trayvon got what he deserved. I am not sure that is true based off the evidence that was presented. We honestly do not know what actually occurred that night and can only speculate on what led to Trayvon's final moments.

The way Mark O' Mara argued Zimmerman's case was beyond great. I honestly do not see how Zimmerman could have been convicted. He totally threw out the using "Stand Your Ground" as his defense and went with self-defense. The State did a poor job with everything. The Jury selection process showed they did not use any of their nullification powers. The Jury was of six people and a majority Caucasian females. I do not see how that equates to the jury of a Hispanic male in his late 20's peers. They presented evidence in a lackluster manner and did not even ask the real stirring and important questions of the witnesses. A lot of people have apparently enrolled in their nearest law schools in the last month. They think they know how the verdict should have been decided. I feel unless you have sat through 40 hours of 3-7 different actual law classes, and taken a 5 hour exams for said courses for at least a semester, you should really take a seat. Mark O' Mara argued the law in a fashion that Florida State should be proud of. Clearly the gazillion hours he spent in their law libraries and on LexisNexis and WestLaw paid off. I personally find Zimmerman to be a total douche, but I do believe that in this case the law prevailed. I do truly hope that the Martin family can find justice in a civil court or that Attorney General Eric Holder will take a bit more action than confiscating Zimmerman's gun.

 Please enjoy this song about ending gun Violence Directed By Kraze of Industry Muscle and Performed by Melly Mel a Rapper from Long Island, NY.......
Well this me signing of.... Remember all isn't fair in love and war!

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Dating an Ass Hat- Run Away From Them Baby, Run Away!

Ladies and gents, have you ever dated an Ass Hat? The odds are you have or at least met one on your romantic journey. The Urban Dictionary defines an Ass Hat as, "A close cousin of the Ass-clown, typically identified by a jovial expression and an outward misunderstanding of how he/she is perceived, combined with a generally misguided conception of what is sociably acceptable amongst his/her fellow peers." Now that you have been informed...its time to tell my tale.

About two weeks during a video shoot for My best friend Gia, I met a young man that I will refer to as Larry Goldwitz. He was actually invited by me to be in the video as an extra, He belonged to a trio one of whom was a mutual friend. Our mutual friend thought it would be a good idea for us to link on a non-professional manner. To be honest he was not someone I would notice at first, second or third glance, but my close guy friend said it was a good look and I did not think he would steer me wrong.

During the shoot we chatted one another up.I began to realize he had a nice personality and we had a lot in common. We exchanged numbers and I figured well at least we could be friends if anything. Near the end of the shoot we discussed catching a Iron Man 3.

At this point the story picks up and hits full speed, I am going to speed through most of it and get to the pure Ass Hatness of it all. We did end up seeing that movie and had a great time getting to know one another after. We hung out and went on  several dates over the course of two weeks. On two of the occasions, I got to see a shooting star fly across the sky, while I was in his presence. All in all I was content.

I kind of wish life had a soundtrack. Like it played different melodies to let you know when things are about to go south. I believe my melody would have changed the day he introduced me to his mom.

I thought it was nice gesture and it made me feel less uncomfortable being at his house. That day was actually a pretty good one. He took me to breakfast that morning and dinner in the city. I think the Jaws music would have started playing when he asked me a seemingly innocent question.... On our way to Manhattan he asked me if I saw him as my boyfriend in the future. My palms got sweaty and my mouth got dry, but in my head I was thinking I do not want to come off as a player, or acting like a dude (this side of me will be discussed in another post). I told him that I could see it in the future. That was a true answer but my mental time frame was really 3 to 6 months from now. It's also a big enough time frame for me to meet someone I actually like better or find more appealing.  I mean he seemed a really nice and sweet guy and if things stayed easy for a good amount of time maybe.  He quickly responded saying that he felt the same about me.
Things were moving at a decent pace. I would hang out with him part of the day and my friends and family the other parts.  As a matter of fact he even stated that he had an "Open Door Policy," with me. That he liked how I went out and did my thing, but always came back to him. 
In my head I figured this was not going to last long, because things like this never do. I did want it to end nicely though, where we could be friends and have fond memories of one another. I also did not want any drama because my friend had kind of hooked us up and I did not want it falling on him.

Basically by the Sunday of our second week hanging out, things took a turn for the worst.
We saw Star Trek and went to dinner. During dinner he ask me what we were doing and I said dating. He asked me what that meant. I really wanted to say that we when go out I am not paying for diddly-do. What I actually said was that we were getting to know each other better hanging out and seeing where it leads. After dinner, We went to his place had wine and were listening to music. Out of the clear blue he decides to blurt out, that he does not want a relationship. After he says that he proceeded to try jump my bones.

I was like WTF?! I was not upset that he did not want a relationship, but how does someone say that after all the events I just relayed, and then tries to sleep with me. Was he kidding me? I was to tipsy to drive, so I slept it off and left the next day. That morning I did not say much to him. What was there to say? He called me and apologized and gave me some weak ass explanation for his behavior. The woman in me accepted it and invited him to see another good friend mine perform at the Blue Note in Manhattan. He accepted stating how he wanted to spend time with me and did not like the idea of me being mad at him.

Earlier I stated how I did not want any drama or my homeboy involved in this mess. Well basically When Larry felt I was slipping through his fingers, he got in contact with my friend letting him know what had transpired. My friend called me on the way to the city to see if I was alright. I was freaking mad. I felt like a line had been crossed one that I would never have crossed. Things honestly just died that day.

The day after we went to the city my friend felt Larry and I should talk. Larry told me he would be getting back from work in the city around 10:30 and asked for a ride from the train. I agreed to the task. Every twenty minutes, he text me he was catching the next train. I ended up picking him up from the train station at after 1 am. I was extremely annoyed. He does not live anywhere near me, it was late, and I had to be to work by 9 am. We did end up having a conversation and it left me extremely confused.  In one breathe he told me he was pushing me away because I was a great match for him and he did not want to be with anyone again ( he was engaged to an evil woman in the past and now needed time to heal). In the other breathe he was telling me how he missed me, did not want me mad, and was kissing me.

I told my friend the next morning what happened and he was basically confused as well. over the course of the next three days I tried to link with Larry. He would make plans with me early in the day around lunch time and by the time I got off of work, he would cancel. The worst had to be Saturday.

At 1pm that day we made plans to hang out at his house around 7:30.  At 4pm he tells me he is in Mount Vernon recording at a studio and that he has to go to the city and New Jersey. I asked him three times if he was cancelling and he never responded. I told my homeboy what was going on. Around 9pm I call him to talk and he does not answer but hits me up with a text letting me know he is working. Then he hits me with the "this is how feelings getting involved." At this point I am furious. I have no feelings for this guy. I basically liked one thing about him and if that was being cut-off there was no point in us communicating. I relayed more of what was going on to my friend and he told me he was going to ask him what was going on. I said to him, are you going to call him. He told me no that he was going to stop by. I did  not see how that was possible if the guy was in Manhattan or New Jersey, or Mount Vernon. My friend told me he was at his house. Imagine the shock on my face.
The first time in my life someone had made my jaw drop.  

Larry and I ended up texting each other. He basically told me he had some stuff to explain and not to be mad at him. He told me that my friend came by to see him. I said really where in Jersey, Mt. Vernon, or Manhattan? He said no my house. I acted as if I knew nothing, it seemed the best approach to me. I honestly do not need an explanation for a lie.

I basically felt that this story needed to be told. I know I am not the only one who has gone through something like this. I should have taken note of  the cues this guy was an Ass Hat and run for my life. He gave off clear clues. He was not very truthful, had his head stuck up his ass, he had way too much drama in his life, did not seem to have a center, and did not respect the time of others. He did all this fronting like he was not actually this way.

Ladies and Gents once you realize someone is an Ass Hat, do not walk but Runaway. I wish that Runaway by Kanye West had started playing as my soundtrack . Signing off now and  remember all isn't fair in love and war.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Friends With Benefits

Spring is finally here! This had to be one of the craziest winters in New York. We dealt with Super-storm Sandy and unfortunately we found Nemo. Now it is time to shed the North Faces, Uggs, and dreary colors, for sun dresses, sandals, and bright colors. People are getting over cabin fever and men get to enjoy the view that shorter hemlines afford them.

Spring is also the time flowers bloom, and with that so do new relationships. The one I will talk about today is the infamous friends with benefits (FWB) relationship. Urban Dictionary (2013) defines friends with benefits as, "A healthy, fun sexual relationship between two people...... Until one falls for the other, The friendship blows to pieces. And those two people find themselves worse off than they were before." This is the best definition of the relationship that I have ever heard. There are a lot of men and women out there that think this relationship is healthy but let me tell you from experience it is not.

In November of 2010 I broke up with my son's father and vowed not to enter another committed relationship for two years. My goals were to focus on my children, school, getting in shape, and traveling. With all that on my plate I did not have time to make a man a priority.

In July of 2011, I went to study study art in Spain. While I was there, I stayed in contact with family and friends, using Skype and Facebook. One night, after drinking some great tasting Spanish wine and partying with new friends, I got a message on Facebook from a man. Well this was not just any man, it was my childhood crush. He had a proposition for me. He wanted to have a FWB relationship. It made me feel like I was in the movie "Indecent Proposal." It had been several months since I had been with anyone and he was offering me all the benefits of a relationship but, I had the ability to still live my life the way I saw fit. I could go where ever I wanted, when I wanted, and with whom I wanted. I mulled the idea over with some guy and girl friends, they all thought it was a go.

On my last night in Spain I responded to the young man. To respect his privacy I will refer to him as Martin. I told Martin I was down and we promptly set-up a date to hang-out. Our first encounter started with a risque game of strip poker. I lost as expected.... This one hot night led to a 9 month torrid affair.

While I enjoyed all the affection, the dates, and attention, something about this relationship just never felt right. During our time together, he never dated anyone else (so he says) however, I did. I traveled, partied, modeled, hell I even did a music video (which he picked me up from). I started to feel a sense of guilt, which led me to believe I was falling for him. Truth be told the more I got to know him, the less I wanted a relationship. It actually turned me off more to the idea.

As time progressed I began to prepare for graduation from undergrad and applying to law schools. Out of the 16 schools I applied to 3 were in NY and I got into 2 of them. I still chose to go outside of the state. I accepted a scholarship to LSU and left. That is not something one does when they feel attached to someone.

I know that based off this brief description of the relationship it does not sound that bad. I feel as if I need to go a little deeper, so I am going to describe how it felt emotionally.

Since Martin was my childhood crush, the situation started with pre-existing feelings. We went from texting once in a while to spending hours on the phone. He paid every time we went out. We shared secrets and intimate details of our lives. We showed one another affection in public. We had feelings for one another but, I wanted to move, and he did not want to be with a woman with children.

Another consequence of the relationship is jealousy. I never felt it but he expressed it. He made little comments about me dating other guys and doing my thing. I also feel that since feelings were involved we would get into fights over silly things and not speak for weeks. Some of the things that were said were hurtful on both parts.

I also felt cheap. I mean what man is going to buy the cow when he is getting the milk for free. I did not like living like that. If I was going to engage in activity with anyone, I wanted it to be meaningful. An experience we shared because we both cared deeply for one another. In this case it was not. It was just two people that should have been friends, and only friends, in a pseudo-relationship.

All in all it felt like I had boyfriend. People in our neighborhood viewed us as a couple, and whether we like to admit it or not; if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, its a duck!
The relationship ended in March of 2012, with a major falling out. We did not speak for 6 months and when we started speaking again it felt awkward. We hung out recently and I found myself about to fall in the same trap. There is a level of comfort and a false sense of stability that an FWB relationship provides. I know I can get from him what I desire of a man even though he is not my man, and he knows he can get the same from me.

 I did tell him I felt it was an unhealthy relationship and it caused more hurt than good. He still believes that because he said he wanted XYZ, I should not feel hurt at all. That is what it always boils down to the delusion of it all. No matter what each partner in the situation says it becomes confusing and complicated. The lines always get blurred. People do not realize one partner really wants it to go further while the other wants to play the field. It very rarely turns into a committed relationship, the parties involved do not usually stay true friends, and it hardly ends without leaving battle scars. My advice is do not do it and if you do, don't make it a lifestyle. It is a trap! Either live the single life or be in a relationship, straddling both fences only leads to trouble. Well this is me signing off. Remember all isn't fair in love and War!


Friday, April 12, 2013

The Stage 5 Clinger

As a women in her mid-twenties, dating can get very tricky. Sometimes, it's hard to tell who is truly interested in having a future with you, from the one trying to get between you and your 7 For All Mankinds.
There is one guy out there whose intentions will never be misinterpreted. He finds you beautiful, sexy, intelligent and ambitious. In his eyes you can barely do any wrong and he will wife you In a heartbeat. He will do anything for you at moments notice. He will trim the hedges, cook dinner, and give you a foot massage. He will shower you with compliments and gifts.
While many of you are reading this and thinking I want one just like that. BUYER BEWARE!!!!! He is not what you think. He is what is known as the Stage 5 Clinger or what Beyonce affectionately calls him the Bug-A-boo!
This man will hunt you for years. Waiting for the moment when a man or multiple men break your heart. He will like every picture on your Facebook and Instagram. He follows you on every social medium and may even show up to the bar you tagged you and your friends at. He will text you several times a month even if you constantly ignore him or give him one word responses with hours of space in between.
He knows all of your ex's by name and license plate. If he see's your husband, boyfriend, ex, or baby's daddy out at the club, he will alert you immediately. He will tell you everything down to the color of fake Red Bottoms the girl was wearing that was grinding all over him.
He lurks in the corners waiting for you to air your unhappiness on Facebook so he can swoop in like Captain Save'Em.
But women hold your ground, it is much better to ignore this type of man then to cave in. Heaven forbid you have sex with him. He will never stop calling.
I recently into the trap! I let a guy who has been trying to date me since I was 20, take me out on 3 separate occasions. My loneliness got the best of me. He wooed me with his kind words and promises. All the while I knew I did not want to have a single intimate moment with this man everything about him irritated me when we were together. I did not like his views on life. His voice annoyed me and he had a sort of fishy smell. The though of kissing him made me gag. I did and indeed I gagged! He would call when I was asleep 3x in a row and if I did wake up and answer, he demanded I stay up and talk to him! No way Jose (not his name) I need my beauty sleep!
I tried to get past it but just could not. Our very last date was a disaster. That night I politely told him I was only interested in friendship. For twenty-four hours he argued with me back and forth about how I should give him a chance. I just could not. No matter how polite I was about it he would not take no for answer. At the end he basically told me he was doing me a favor by dating me. I finally gave him an earful. The end result being lose my number. About three days later he text me some information on law schools (which I already knew). I did not respond but it clearly showed me he did not respect my wishes!
While this is one of my many stories of Stage 5 clingers.. Heed my advice and don't walk... RUN!
Please share your Stories men and women. Until tomorrow for more Sam's Law Love and War!!


Popular Articles