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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Crossroads (Girls Love Beyonce - Drake feat. James Fauntleroy)

A few days ago someone sent me this song.  It was like someone smacked me in the face. I am not a huge Drake fan, but sometimes he puts out a track that truly resonates with me. This song made me think about how much I have changed mentally in the last year. I'm sure my friends and family will say I am still the same girl. In my mind, that's where the problem lies. I am not a girl anymore I am woman. I have evolved. Right now I feel as if I am at some kind of crossroads.

I think it's hard for people to rationalize this idea of me a as a woman. It is hard for me to rationalize it. This may have something to do with my age. Someone said to me recently 25 is a confusing age. You are in the middle of young adult and full adult. You still want to party all night but, know you have to clock into work at 9 am. You can no longer spend all your money on popping bottles, because you now have to decide whether your going to start your 401K or a an IRA, if not both. You realize you can't just play the field forever you actually need someone to help you build your empire. Yet most of us are just thinking at 25. Taking baby steps towards maturity because we cannot seem to let the freedom from our youth go. As a matter of fact we are in revolt of letting it go. I do want to hold on to it a little longer I am ashamed to say it. Especially since I am a mother of two, I have a degree, and I work in the corporate office of a well known company.

As of today there are only 30 days left of being 25. I realize I need to use these next few years to make myself a noteworthy person. It's time to make myself a brand and build and empire. I know exactly who I want to be I just don't know how to get there. I took a baby step into law school and then I left. I decided to take a year off. I need to use this year to set the stage for the rest of my life. My initial idea was to just come home and party, but as soon as I got home I went into the shadows. I just focused on getting a job and getting in shape. Once I felt I was in a comfortable place, I started hitting my friends up to revive me. They have all helped me get my motivation back one way or another. I also started making some new friends. People that inspire me and speak life into me. They are little older and definitely wiser.  I also spend a lot more time at home underneath my mom and dad. To some that may be strange, but I feel as if there are things I need to learn from the right now. I have also been trying to find my spirituality. I was raised in the church, but I need to make firm decision on what I really believe. I also would not mind meeting someone to walk the rest of this journey with, trust me another warm body is great to have on a cold night.... I mean that metaphorically by the way!

If you listened to the song, and wondered how it led to me writing an article on life I'll explain. Drake is talking about a woman and we all know life is a bitch! On a serious note though, there is nothing more inspiring then hearing a person in your peer group express what you are going through. He talks about growing up in this song.  He expresses his fear of commitment in relationships, reminisces about the fun of his youth, and talks about how it is time change his thinking. Also the girl he is having the conversation with sounds like the one I used to be. As 25 comes to a close It's time for me to leave that girl behind and become The woman of my dreams.

Time for me to go...Enjoy the track and remember... All isn't fair in love and war!


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