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Saturday, April 13, 2013

The Approach

I love my e-mail it is always loaded with goodies. This Thursday for instance I got a VIB reward from Sephora! Filled with utter joy I bolted out of work and to Walt Whitman mall. I figured while I am there, and spending my hard earned money, I might as well window shop. As I was walking,I passed by the "Me Ality" booth and a handsome young man asked me to come try it out. I had already done it a few weeks ago and while the salesmen was handsome he still looked wet behind the ears. But I can't resist chatting with new people so I engaged in some interesting dialogue with him and his Co-workers. They all looked good!!! I know bad! While I was there I realized I had monopolized their time and went on my way to the gym.

Later that evening I went to T.G.I Friday's with my best friend Gia a former video model. While we were there I let her know that besides from salesmen, men hardly ever approach me to talk. I am not a bad looking female, and a guy friend told me that, a man will always have a conversation with a pretty girl.  I have found this to be false 56% of the time.  I go out most weekends. I am well rounded person. I can be found at a Mets game or the hot new lounge, but where ever I am, I notice that men look and don't say hi. As a young woman opening herself up to dating this frustrates me to know end. It was even happening that night sitting at the bar at Fridays.

When I ask my friends and family why men do not approach me I always get the same answer. They are intimated by you. I am always blown by this response because I am a rather social being. I am attractive but I am no Beyonce.  I look like the typical girl next door. During the day I am typically dressed down, jeans and sneakers or flats. I do wear labels but aside from my purses they are not easily identifiable. I will admit I do not always smile. I typically am deep in thought (lol how else would I come up with such interesting post) and on the move.  I think it would be nice if just once a man says hello, how are you?

Friday night I went out to a club, I'll even post a pic just so you can see how I looked. Not one man approached but they talked to my friends. I danced on the floor all night on my lonesome. I was pretty disappointed but, I have grown used to this over the years. Whether I am at a church event, a social gathering, or Starbucks; I rarely ever get approached. If a man does say hello he is usually white ( I do not discriminate all are welcome to say howdy!) I just wonder what makes the brothers keep on walking and approach a less attractive female with horrible taste.

So today I found myself at the mall again shopping at Sephora. Hey its a weekend long coupon! I saw the cute guys from the "Me-ality" booth and they chatted me up some more. I also do not turn down conversations with attractive men. I boldly asked them their opinion on the matter. They responses they gave were great I'll list them.

1. You are intimidating.
2. You seem confident and sure of yourself, that makes men nervous.
3. You are pretty guys know realistically where they rank and want a girl no more than two places ahead of themselves. So if they see themselves as a 4 they are not going to approach anything they find higher than a 6.
4. You seem as if you know what you want guys are used to girls who don't know what they want. Whether it's the flavor of ice cream to which movie they would like to see.
5. You are a guy's girl.... translation- I think to much like a dude.
6. Maybe you do not show you are approachable, by making eye contact and flicking your hair, so he knows to approach.
7. You do not seem like you know how to flirt.

The greatest part was these answers came from men between the ages of 19-28. They are  from Long Island. They either held a degree or were in progress and They were black, Hispanic, and Indian. One guy was gay. I think that the answers I got from such a variety of men may be helpful in changing how I acquire a potential mate. I will probably never let go of my Micheal Kors bag, but I can definitely smile more and flick my hair. Well no time to try it like today for all those women out there who have been wondering the same thing as I have been. Ladies if you are ever in Walt Whitman Mall, stop at the "Me-Ality" Booth. Not only will you be able to learn the perfect fit for all the clothing at the mall, but you just might meet one of the cute salesmen.






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